Apologies to my colon

I apologise
For the late night spicy food
The hurriedly chewed
Caramelised almond nuts
The tomato skin
That missed the blender

I apologise
It’s not like this
Isn’t a mutually shared pain
Here sitting on tippy toes
Toes curled in
Hand massaging some
Semblance of sooth into you

I apologise
My fingers still burn lightly
From yesterday’s pepper
I can only imagine
What you’re going through
But these spices are unavoidable

I apologise
And you need to toughen up
I’ll still have the spice
But not so late a time
About the tomato skin
Who doesn’t love a good salad huh

I apologise
Tomorrow we’ll be back here
Sitting on tippy toes
Toes curled inwards
Spine twisted to abate pain
For just a moment
Then it’ll be over

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Forgotten Gifts

Wake up to a clawing feel of neglect and disappointment with a tinge of amazement at what used to be created. Wondering if such a mind ever existed and if it has been so short a time. How skills and gifts can be overlooked for what is deemed ‘important’ or ‘relevant’. That a part of you fades away every day.

Wake up with the same feeling, guilt so strong you can’t reminisce on what was before. Even a reminder no matter how painful can be an overwhelming trigger. That the mind that once was will vibrate to life with a quick glance into the dusty box full of gifts once brandished.

Wake up one more time to the ringing in ears that have not heard. The urge that finds other ways to burst forth; however evil the way. The realisation that a gift that once was might just be. Or maybe not. That such a short time can change a person in the most horrifying way. That good things can be lost and forgotten. As bad things thrive and fester.

Wake up with a pounding at the temple. The urge fights to be released. The mind is in disarray. Nothing fits quite right. Something is missing. Something is lost. Something that was once warm and fulfilling has been in comatose. So short but so long that it’s a struggle to resurrect a thing that was deliberately forgotten.Forgotten_umbrella

A SELFISH RIGHT

As humans, society encourages us to consider what others think and feel when making decisions about ourselves. We sacrifice and let go of dreams just to be able to put a smile of approval on other’s faces. Society has convinced us that the desire to seek self-contentment is the most selfish a human being can get so we walk around with compromises and bitterness in our hearts. Have you ever woken up to responsibilities that you appointed to yourself and realised that you are in charge of such duty? Life is about living it day in and out, doing what you love and living how you want. No compromises, no living up to expectations that you do not believe in.
I sat in the trotro today with a woman and her son. The woman will be in her mid-fourties and the son in his late twenties. A heated argument started between the two and the young man went on with a litany of insults directed at the mom. people in the car exclaimed at his choice of words, and then the woman said ‘can you imagine? he is my son and he’s insulting me in such a manner.’ Everybody kept quiet right after that. I noticed their first move at defending the woman from then young man’s abusive words change the minute she mentioned that he was her son. I’m pretty sure the statement running through their heads was ‘and you allow him to talk to you in such a manner?’ I must admit that i even thought in same direction if but for a minute.

As a literary mind though, my view changed and i just observed the exchange. The woman also replied his insult for insult. Each of them shotting back hopping to make the most damage whilst sullying their family reputation, if anyone had any idea who they were anyway. I was so disappointed in the woman. Not that i’m blaming her for her son’s uncouthness, i believe that’s all on him. He’s old enough. I was disappointed that she sat in the same vehicle with such a character, paid his fare and listened to his rants. He obviously didnt have money of his own considering that fact that he was fighting with her over money that his sibling had given her. Insisting she was stingy because she refused to chatter taxi. Unfortunate incident really.

She should have sent him on his way to fend for himself. He’s old enough and not her responsibility. She doesnt have to tolerate him and make her remaining life miserable. Its not right!..I wish she will take the reins of her life into her own hands and just take control, you know. Happiness is a right to every human being. compromising your happiness just to tolerate someone or something is wrong. Every decision taken should have you in consideration. no matter what it is, put yourself first and the rest will fall in place. Look at this way, if you cant make yourself happy, then how can you make others happy? How will your compromise and sacrifice benefit the other party if it depresses you and reduces you as a person?

In everything, look to yourself. Let it feel right within youself. understand it and take action. If helping others gives you an accomplished feeling, do it. If working and having a big bank account all to yourself makes you feel fullfilled, do it. Put yourself first and then, when you can smile, you can infect others with that smile. Your life is how you live it, your happiness is your right and it MUST come first before anything else.